Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
My feet surprised me
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