Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I want to be your penis for a week.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
