Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
The feeling are messing with the penis
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
