Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
