I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
