I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Randomize
