But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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