I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
now i know why i became what i already was.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
