I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Swine flu. Run for my life!
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Randomize
