people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
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