I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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