You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I wish i was in the wii world.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
