I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
