I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
