Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
