Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
