So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
