just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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