I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
