Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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