There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
