You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
