Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
