capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
