what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize