I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
