brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
