Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
