PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
