Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
