you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i drank out of a bidet.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Also, beer. Big fan.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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