I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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