take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
