Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Randomize
