Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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