I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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