We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
it hurts more in the daytime
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
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