Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
