Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Mom said you looked used
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
