Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
