I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
