it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
