i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
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