Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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