i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
