Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize