okay pat passed out under dana's car
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
