May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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