If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I lost the right to judge tonight
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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