I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
