I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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