remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize