Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
