Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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