Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
