Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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