Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
and i looked up. we had an audience...
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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