im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
