whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
