He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I feel great
I just peed on a car
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
